（笑话）3

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria.

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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I Love this child)

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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '

MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand....

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TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

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媽：爸，你知道Transformer嗎？

爸：Transformer不就是那些電板上的...

媽：不是啦，是會動的機器人啦，就很有力的，車會變成機器人那個​啊。那我問你，Transformer的妹妹是什麼？ ......

爸：......

媽：是Transistor咯。

我：那不是有Transmother和Transfather咯​？

爸：不是，那個叫Transparent...

弟：那Transformer遲到了就叫Translate了.​..

我：Transformer的毛就叫Transfer，Tran​sformer的任務叫Transmissions

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一个公司想招聘一名新职员，于是就在临街的橱窗里贴出广告：“招聘文职人员，需会打字、懂电脑、精通两种语言。符合条件者机会均等。”

　　令经理惊讶的是，第一个来应聘的竟然是一条狗。

　　“对不起，我不能雇用一条狗在公司里做事。”经理说。

　　狗不服气，抬起前爪指着广告上“机会均等”字样叫了两声表示抗议。

　　经理没有办法，叹了口气问道：“你会打字吗？”

　　那条狗默默地走到打字机前，准确地打了一封信。

　　“你懂得怎样用电脑吗？”经理又问。

　　那条狗又坐在一台电脑前，迅速地编了个程序，操作得非常熟练。

　　经理有点儿气急败坏：“我真的不能雇一条狗工作。就算会打字、懂电脑，但是我需要的雇员要能说两种语言。”经理一下子想起了此事，认为这条狗应该知难而退了。

　　那条狗抬头看着经理说：“喵...喵...”

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如果我是狐狸你是猎人，你会追我吗？如果我是茶叶你是开水，你会泡我吗？如果我是汽车你是司机，你会驾（嫁）我吗？如果你是钱我是存折，我一定会取（娶）你的。

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小楼的妈妈说：“老师，您找我有事吗？”老师说：“是的，您孩子上课时不专听讲，到现在连‘声母’‘韵母’都不知道。”小楼的妈妈说：“孩子啊，你怎么这么笨呢?妈妈不就是你的‘生母’我在生你之前，不就是你的‘孕母’吗？”